An Earnest Request

The summer started with Iron Man, giving us (and Tony Stark) the superhero film we (and he) deserved. It was zippy, it was fun, it had pathos and flash, and, more than anything, it was a movie about a man, rather than his machine. Sure, I had a couple problems with it, but as a whole, I'd mark it a success for our favorite metal-suited billionaire genius.

Then we got The Incredible Hulk, which made me wonder if there will ever be a truly stellar Hulk movie.

But it was after The Dark Knight that I started to really want the world to give me the only superhero movie I ask for.

Please, someone, give me a Superman movie I can love.

I'm sure there are some Hulk fans out there saying the same thing for their main man, and I know there are more important things to ask for, but, really, this is all I want.

Christopher Reeve did a lot. He could play both Clark and the Big Blue Boyscout, and manage to make them very different from each other but yet still undeniably two sides of the same coin. Maybe I should chalk up the deficiencies in his movies to the special effects of the times. Or the plotlines. Or both.

But I know who I want to blame.

I want to blame the same person I blame for Superman Returns falling short of the mark. (And, no, it isn't Marlon Brando; in fact, I loved his inclusion in Superman Returns.)

I blame Lex Luthor. (Well, that and the asthmatic lovechild, who was cute but wholly unnecessary.)

Now, his appearances in the movies thus far have been fun. Gene Hackman and Kevin Spacey have convinced me that being a follicly-challenged evil genius is the best time you can have, short of a day playing skee-ball on the boardwalk. They convinced me that executing a villianous plot is virtually synonymous with "hilarious hijinks" and they had quite possible the most useless posses since Disney gave Hades Pain and Panic as minions.


Thus far, Lex Luthor has been fun, but it's time for him to stop. His plots have been cartoonish, with a strange fixation on real estate only, and I'm convinced he's operating on the level of an amateur supervillian. Spacey's Luthor begins by getting an elderly women to sign a will that leaves everything to him. Child's play.

I guess I was sold too long ago on President Luthor. I realized that he was the ultimate villain for our hero. I was sold too long ago on the Luthor that masquerades as a businessman and sometime-philanthropist and makes millions in dirty money under the table, never mind how many people die as a result.

It's so hard for Superman, who operates on physical power, to beat someone at a game that's purely mental. I want to see him have to try. I don't know that I'd mind if he lost. I want him to have to catch up with someone who's always one step ahead, when no amount of super-speed is going to make a whit of difference. I want him to force himself to be more than just the Man of Steel to beat a man who already knows how to deal with that. Kryptonite is easy.

Sometimes I feel that Batman would be better suited to beat Luthor, and I have no doubt that he could, but I want Supes to do it.

Challenge yourself, Clark.

Don't let Luthor let you off easy with dual rockets to opposite coasts. Don't let him insult your capabilities with a Kryptonite island.

Let him be the mega-powerful, underhanded, far-too-clever evil that's nigh impossible to stop with strength and speed alone.

Because, come on, Superman, you've got more than that going for you. You've got . . . Well, honestly, the big-screen you has yet to really show us what else you have to offer. It's up to you now to change that. I believe in you. While everyone else spent the summer believing in Harvey Dent, I spent it putting faith in the Last Son of Krypton, hoping that one day, you'll show us what you're really made of.

And I believe you'll do it, too. After all, you always do the right thing.